Never ask "can this get any worse?"

So once again shit got fucked up. This seems to be a trend in my life, shit just goes from bad to worse and this time I even had the audacity to ask that cursed question... I actually said "can this get any worse?" Why would I think that would be a good idea? Guess I should have spent more time on tvtropes...

So anyway I should probably explain why I would even have a reason to say that. It was a day like any other (by that I mean it was a shit day), I was wandering around the neighbourhood where I grew up. I had no plan or anything I was just wandering while lamenting about the many things I've lost since this all started. By that I don't mean material items but more my old life. I went to school, I had a part time job, a girlfriend and more friends than I knew what to do with. I would spend my free time playing video games or going out with my friends then I would come home to my girlfriend for some quality time. It was a normal mundane life but it was my life and I liked it...

Anyway enough emo bullshit, so ya I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice that I was near this forest in that area, I noticed that at about the same time that I noticed that 2 guys were following me. I started to walk away from the forest when I noticed 3 men in black robes walking towards me, now I'm starting to panic and run in the only direction left when I saw 2 more men in black robes running at me. I'm surounded on 3 sides now with only a forest in front of me, I realized their trap but I knew I wouldn't be able to fight off all 7 without being seriously injured so I did the one thing I could and ran into the forest.

I never want to go into a fucking forest but I chose the unknown danger over the present danger, that might have been a bad choice... So as I ran it started raining, this was when I said those stupid fucking words. Let me tell you, it got worse. I no longer heard the normal sounds of a forest and I no longer saw those pricks who were chasing me, this is when I knew I was fucked.

I started running but of course I had to trip on a fucking root, when I opened my eyes I wasn't alone. I saw Slenderdouche himself but there was someone else there, he was dressed in all green, he had a pendant on his neck that would give off a green glow at times, this glow would also come out of his hands and the 2 knives he had in his hands. I thought we were fucked but he seemed to actually be able to fight off slenderman.

He told me to run and after 15 minutes he just walked out of the forest like nothing had happened. I need sleep for tomorrow so I'll tell you the rest tomorrow.

Good luck and stay safe,
Migz.

Fuck this shit

So I've been kind of out of it for a bit but some hard thinking and a hospital visit (more on that after) later and I've come to the conclusion that it's about time I man the fuck up. Yes I'm still a scumbag douchebag, yes I am a murderer, yes I have made mistakes in the past, no I can't change what I've done but I can try.

I've killed two proxies since the last time I posted here. I'm well aware that this isn't going to make even a small dent on the debt that I owe but it's a start. I never wanted all this and I made a deal with the devil to protect those I love but at the same time I made sure they would never have a way to contact me so I'm not even sure if they're still alive or where they are right now...

My life no longer has any value past what I can do to make things right, this doesn't mean I'm going to kill myself but my safety will no longer really be a priority for me. If I can save at least one life then I can die happy.

As I said before I was in the hospital for a bit, getting stabbed hurts alot more than I remember. Luckily it was a shallow cut and everything was able to start healing fine but still at times like this it makes me glad to have a friend who works in the hospital. Anyway this is all for now so I'm out.

Good luck and stay safe,
Migz

Here's why I'm an asshole

Well I always was good at solving logic puzzles, too bad I can't solve the puzzle that's right in front of me... Black Rose, please be alright and I'm sorry I ran off without saying anything but trust me it's for the best.

Anyway prepare yourselves for a fairly long post. You might remember that hallway that I saw in my dream, well I do because it was a hallway in the basement in a place I used to work at. Nobody ever goes in there (I used to go there when I needed time to myself at work).

So I went down there not knowing exactly what I would what I would find, I was kind of surprised to say the least. I found a note in the place where I would stash "things" I might need to relax (mostly rum). It was kind of a letdown until I started reading it...

It seems that the amnesia was planned (not sure how I did it but I do know why I did it), it seems that I am a traitorous scumbag.

As you know I found out about Him from a friend, at first it all seemed like a big joke to me, right until my friends started to vanish or die one by one, then it really hit me when my brother was attacked, he survived but I knew I had to do something.

So I went into this forest near my house and I kept walking until I felt his presence around me. I begged him to take me and spare my family, I then felt more than heard the words in my head. I don't remember exactly (although my memory is starting to come back to me) what was said to me and it wasn't written down but... Well I more or less made a deal with the fucking devil.

He told me where I would find "enemies" of his and you can guess what I had to do... For those who can't guess well I fucking murdered them. I did this until I found places outside of Canada for them to hide.

After this I did something to make me lose my memory and here I am now. Judge me as you will, I know I hate myself so I don't see why everyone else would be different.

Why should I have picked who lived and who died? Who am I to decide all of that? Why didn't He just do the world a favour and kill me? I'm so sorry everyone, bye.

Also I forgot to mention this but at the bottom of the page it said: Don't give in to the rage! I'm not sure what I meant but oh well.

I feel like a dick saying this in light of what I found out but:
Good luck and stay safe,
Migz

Still fighting

Let me just start by apologizing to Black Rose, I'm sorry I ran off but trust me it's for your own good. I'm still here despite old Slenderfuck trying to off me, you hear that you fuckbag? I'm still fucking here. I'm back in my hometown, it wasn't as easy to get here as it was to get to Toronto, probably since I had no inter-dementional portals to travel through. I've been on my own for a while now but that doesn't mean that They've been kind enough to leave me alone, I've learned that I will do whatever it takes to keep me alive... During my time off I have discovered some disturbing truths about my past, I will let you all in on what I've discovered but at the moment I really do NOT want to admit but trust me, I will let you all know the truth. Anyway now I need a smoke so I'm out.

Good luck and stay safe,
Migz

The rest of the story

Well here's the deal: I don't remember every part of my dream but I do remember bits and pieces that make me wonder if I'd be better off forgetting about all of this... So I had dreams in that time, but they all started in the same place. I'm in a hallway, there's no windows or anything and everything is lit by bright white lights. There are stacks of boxes on either side of me, I opened a few of the boxes and inside these boxes are papers, I looked at a few of them and they just seemed to be lists of names (I don't remember any of the names), some of the papers were also covered in blood. There was graffiti on the walls, mostly my name again but also peoples names along with dates, all written in blood... This time I recognized one of the names, it was one of my old friends Brian... He's been dead for about 6 months, is it really my fault that people died around me? Did I have more to do with their deaths than I remember? If I really am the reason they all died, then do I really deserve to live? Either way now I'm feeling depressed again so I guess I'm out.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migz.

What the fucking fuck fucking happened?

Ok so I wake up next to Blackrose and I find out that shit has been fucked up for the past few days. Pardon the language but I'm kinda stressed. So ya I did some reading and found out that I've been out for a few days but still posting somehow between screams, but I don't remember this... I was dreaming (of my past I think). I'll get into that later because right now I need to chill out and have a smoke (or 10). Thank you for your concern everyone and thank you Black Rose for finding me, I guess that makes us even ;). I'll post what I remember from my dream later, right now I'm kinda fucked up.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migz.

The End

So commences the end of his test, if he has the strength to pass test 1 then you will have him back soon enough, if not then know that he has fought bravely. He exceded my expectations in every way but that still might not be enough. He getoutgetoutgetthefuckoutofmyhead imsorryforwhativedoneineverwanteditmakeitstopmakeitstop

Make it stop

MakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstopMakeitstop

Makeitstop

MakeitstopMakeitstop

Whywontitstop

Whereami

Pleasestop

pleasestop

Nononononononono

MAKE IT STOP NOW

Imsorryinevermeantforthattohappen

Makeitgoaway

Why can't something just be easy for once?

Well I've been going through my memories to try and see if I could remember anything that could help me with my alleyway adventure (I'm sorry but I really like calling it that) and all I've come up nothing at all... Quite literally I don't remember anything between the ages of 16 to 19. How could I not realize this? How could I just lose 3 years of my life and not notice!

How do I know this? Well I found a note stuffed in my back pocket. The note said:
"Still haven't figured it out? Well I guess I overestimated you. Look to the past to find hints of the future... Ok I'll take a break from being cryptic, think about when you were 16-19, you're kinda slow so I don't think you'd figure it out."

So good news bad news? Good news I just have to figure out what happened to me during that time and things might clear up a bit for me, bad news this mysterious cockbag thinks I'm an idiot and I'm more fucked up than I previously thought I was. To the mysterious douchebag: thank you for trying not to be a cryptic asshole (probably took alot out of you didn't it?) but can you just please fucking tell what is going on? Also how the fuck did you sneak that note into my pocket? And now I'm angry and I want to go for a walk but I seem to have a bad track record with random walks, anyway I'm out.
Good luck and stay safe.
Migzer.

A bigger picture?

So we have The Collective trying to band the Fears together, Zeke and Abel being taking to Bliss by The Archangel, Black Rose and the cornfield incident, Maze becoming a proxy and whales with shotguns (ya that last one seems kind of out of place to me). This all makes my little alleyway adventure seem almost trivial to me but I feel that with all that's happening (or happened) I guess I shouldn't really think of anything as really trivial. Anyway I'm off to try and cheer up Black Rose.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer.

Investigation time

So I woke up a bit early today and figured I'd go for a bit of an early morning walk. I was walking through an alleyway when I started reading some of the graffiti. I do this when I walk around but this time it was different. My real name (all 37 letters of it) was writen around the alleyway, that by itself is pretty fucked up but as I walked further in I noticed that other words started popping up, words like die, kill, torture, murder, evicerate, pain etc...  So I finally reached a dead end so I turned around and there was someone standing at the beginning of the alleyway. I tend to panic so out come the knife and knuckles and I charge forward. I lunge forward with a punch when I go right through the "person". I crash to the floor when I hear a voice that says:
"How can you expect to see the truth when you can not even what is right in front of you? Trust in your judgement and all will one day become clear to you".

So I'm back now and kinda freaking out, I have some ideas as to what this all means but ant ideas you guys (and girls) have would be great.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer.

Blackwatch day 4

All's good here, Black Rose is doing much better than when we first found her. I feel like I should thank Zeke again seeing as none of this would be possible without him. Oh and yes I am more of a melee fighter, I see these weapons as extensions of my own body and my own skills, my body doesn't jam, doesn't misfire and never needs to be reloaded. Anyway enough about my weapons of choice, does anyone know what that cornfield was? It doesn't sound like any fear's domain that I've ever heard of. If anyone finds anything could you please let me know? I'll do what it takes to help out a friend and to make sure that nothing like that ever happens again.

Good luck and stay safe,

Migzer.

I'll never look at corn the same way ever again

So I just woke up on a rooftop in what I'm assuming is Toronto, Black Rose is passed out and Zeke is just fucking gone. So ya shit got pretty fucked up but I guess I better start from the beginning.

After me and Zeke (Phobos) journey into the Catacombs (by the way thank you to The Blind Man) we emerged into the cornfield. It was dark so I'm lucky that I had my pocket flashlight. The second we stepped out the screaming started, I knew right away that something (other than the dark and the screaming) was very wrong, I felt like someone was watching me but every time I would turn I would see a flash of red and then there would be nothing there.

We wandered for a bit calling out for Black Rose (we had to yell over the screaming). I felt more than heard the rustling around us, we only had a few seconds to prepare before we were attacked by robed (men?) things with their hoods pulled up. They attacked us with what seemed to be mostly simple farming implements. I had my collapsable batton and my dagger/brass knuckles (never leave home without them). We were fighting them for god knows how long when they just started to scatter, as one was backing away his hood fell off. This might once have been a human face but no longer, it was horribly disfigured and blood was leaking from everywhere. We took this oportunity to run forward, we reached a clearing and there in the middle was Black Rose. She was on the ground twitching and muttering "I didn't kill anyone, they killed themselves". The screaming started to get louder and louder, I noticed blood leaking from my ears and I started to feel weak. I knew I was going to pass out so I tried to cover Black Rose as I fell.

Next thing I know I'm waking up on the rooftop. I was kind of preocupied with saving Black Rose and staying alive so I think that Phobos and Black Rose might be able to clear things up .
Well I'm gonna wait for her to wake up, so good luck and stay safe,
Migzer.

A friend in need is...

I remember the first time I heard about Slim, it was almost 2 years ago. One of my friends from work was telling me about how he was seeing a tall man with no face following him around, so I did some research online and then I found out about Slim and Grim (sorry Sarah I really like that name). So at first I thought it was all a joke and called him an idiot... I'm sorry Kevin. You see that was the first (and sadly not last) friend I lost to the tall fucker.

Well anyway now I need a smoke and a nice strong drink so I'm out.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer.

P.S. Black Rose if you read this please tell me what's going on ok? I've lost enought friends to the faceless asshole and his fucking pawns, I don't want to lose anymore if I can help it.

I won't back down

Well I'm glad my little pity party is over, so I was feeling down but talking to you guys helped me get over that little incident. I'm not gonna let that faceless bastard win against me, I will not be broken, I will fight until my last dying breath. I'd like to write more about this but I have to move again, thank you to Zeke for getting me started on this and thanks to Black Rose and Maze for keeping me from losing all hope.
Good luck and stay safe,
 Migzer

Coward

Does it make me selfish to want my old life back? Is it bad that i try to see people that I know every now and then? I try but to avoid everyone that I know but it's not that easy... Am I a coward? First I ran away from my life to protect the people that I love but now I realize that I can't just leave everything behind because i still need to see them and drop hints that I'm still alive, does this make me weak?

Jenn if you ever find this then odds are I'm dead and I just want you to know that I ran away for your own safety, I love you but I need to stay away from you... I'm sorry.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer

Why start now?

Hello there (all one of you), my name is... Well ok I don't think you need my name so I guess just call me Migzer or just Migz. I've been reading some of the blogs here for about a year and a half, but I never really took it seriously until a couple of months ago. Even when I realized that these blogs weren't just some game on the internet, I never really thought of writing one until Phobos from Shadows see all gave me the idea to start my own blog and tell my story.

So now I started my blog but I don't know what I'm supposed to tell you. How can I even presume to think that I could be as important as Zeke Strahm, Zeke, Alan and all the others from Shadows see all, M, Zero (before his face heel turn), Maduin, Amalgamationsage, Hakurie Ryuu and so many others that I can't think of right at this second. Who am I to think that anyone out there would actually care about hearing my story? Why do I even bother?

I'm still not sure why I'm doing this but I guess I can try to see this through to the end. Eventually i'll get around to explaining how I got into this mess (and what exactly this mess is). But for now I have a chance to rest so I'm out.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer

Sorry about this

I've been meaning to start writing but I don't really have the time to do that right now, but soon I should be able to write some actual posts. Anyway I've got to leave now so i should be able to post tonight or latest tomorrow.
Good luck and stay safe,
Migzer